(Open on): Sarah Palin, wearing a nightgown, standing in front of her mirror with a hairbrush in her hand. Speaks into the hairbrush)
Hello! Hi! Hello! Good evening my fellow Americans! I’m back, baby, I’m back! Thank you, thank you.
Now. When you ask yourself who will it be to put America back on the right track and restore constitutional government that we are lacking today and that we so need, do you think of Crooked Hillary, that Cooty Clinton? That’s right, booo Hillary! Now, do you think of that muckwuck Communist Bernie Sanders? No, boooo Bernie! Or, do you think of the one true and great leader of these United States, Donald J. Trump? Yeah!
I have endorsed Donald Trump for President because it is he who will get in there and utterly destroy ISIS and the Radical Islamic Terrorists, as we know our United States military can do, and we need a leader won’t just sit back and take it! He will exert a power, and we need a leader who won’t just sorta wanna cow chow and allow the enemy to be pokin’ at us. That’s unacceptable to most Americans and certainly to me. Donald J. Trump is the man who will carry his big stick and be severely aggressive with the terrorists. We need to cram it down their terrorist throats that they can’t, and they won’t.
Now I’m here today yakkin’ to ya about how Donald Trump will be the next great American leader and you’re probably thinkin’, what’s this lady doin’ up here talkin’ to us, and I’m here to tell you, and I know I said before that I wouldn’t, but I am beseechin’ you to vote for me, Sarah Palin, for the spot of Vice President of these United States.
I know, I know, last time John McCain said it was a mistake to have chosen me as his runnin’ mate but he doesn’t and didn’t see my vision to Make America Great Again! And, you know, I’m runnin’ with the experience of the Governor of the great state of Alaska, and Donald Trump needs that diversity, that diversity of experience, in that he hasn’t got any. Now I’m callin’ on you, the great people of Tennetexansas, to put a call in to Donald Trump and tell him, you tell him, “Sarah Palin is a pit bull willin’ to bite at Crooked Hillary’s ankles and you should choose her to be under you because she will unify America! Donald J. Trump and Sarah Palin 2016!”
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Good job, Sarah. That was very good. He’s gotta getcha now.